


Ninja House Husbans

by Better_in_Black_1234



Category: Naruto
Genre: A interview, Attempt at Humor, Awkward, Chris Hemsworth - Freeform, Family Fluff, Help, Inspired By, Inspired by Tumblr Posts, Parents trying their hardest, Sorry Not Sorry, To raise their kids, with
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-11-23 15:25:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11405214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Better_in_Black_1234/pseuds/Better_in_Black_1234
Summary: Inoichi liked to think he was a good dad. His only daughter, Ino was his little princess and little did she know but he was completely wrapped around her little finger. He would give her anything she asked.And that was his downfall.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off an interview that someone did with Chris Hemsworth where he was talking about his daughter and it was so cute I nearly died. 
> 
> Sorry about the length, its a little short. All mistakes are my own and I don't own Naruto
> 
> If anyone has seen the interview please tell me who it was with and I'll chuck a link in!!

 

* * *

 

Inoichi liked to think he was a good dad. His only daughter, Ino was his little princess and little did she know but he was completely wrapped around her little finger. He would give her anything she asked.

And that was his downfall.

Because everynow and then there was something he just couldn't give her. There were somethings she didn't understand, since she had grown up in a house full of boys.

One of those exact moments, came to him on a Saturday morning when he and his other two teammates (and co-dads, not that he'd admit it. Even under torture) were sitting down to a late breakfast.

"Daddy!" His princess came running into the dining room, soaked to the bone.

 "Ino!" Inoichi smiled not to worried that his daughter was wet. It had beed raining last night, and the massive hole in the yard from Choji's training hasn't been filled yet.

 "Daddy, I want one of those things Shika and Choji have!" Ino stood next to him her little hands holding onto his shirt, her eyes staring up into his.

By god what ever Shikamaru and Choji have his daughter would have to!

"What do they have sweetie?" Inoichi asked, counting in his head the toys that the boys would have that Ino would want.

 "The thing that you and Shika and Choji have" Ino smiled and excitedly shifted from foot to foot.

Inoichi blinked, she could mean that could she? On the other side of the table Shikaku and Chōza started to laugh. Inoichi shot them a glare.

"Do you mean a, ah, penis dear?"

 And his precious little princess stared up at him with determination in her eyes, "Yes daddy!" She pulled on his shirt, "I want a penis!"

 Inoichi cursed a storm up in his head. Fuck, how was he going to deal with this? He couldn't fuck this up.

 He reached down and picked up Ino, putting her on his lap, "Princess, you can be what ever you want to be ok? Remember that when your older"

 Ino looked ecstatic, she quickly gave him a hug and an excited squeel that vaguely sounded like a thankyou before running of into the yard agan.

 In the silence of the dining room he heard Ino laughing at the boys, saying that her daddy said she could have a penis.

Shikaku gave him a smile from across the table and told him that he was handeling the boys when the needed the talk.

Inoichi threw his plate at him.

 

* * *


	2. The 'talk'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inoichi gets the honour of giving the boys the 'talk'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ༼ つ ◕ヮ◕༽つ*:･ﾟ✧ 

"I thought you were joking!" Inoichi hissed.

"The fuck I was" Shikaku hissed back.

Chōza shot them both a glare, "Don't swear where the kids can hear you, they already have enough of your bad habits!"

Shikaku rolled his eyes, "I have no idea what you mean" 

"I'm not giving  _your_ sons the talk" Inoichi, crossed his arms, "nothing you say will convince me"

 

* * *

 

God  _fucking_ dammit.

Inochi looked down at the two boys sitting across from him.

Choji sat with his customary packet of chips infront of him and his customary cluless look on his face.

Shikamaru on the other hand sat poised like he was about to fall asleep, head almost tilted so far to one side that Inoichi worried about the future chiropractor bills they would need to pay.

Four bottles of sake better be worth it.

"Now boys" Inoichi paused, thinking for a moment, "there comes an important time in a young man's life when he becomes a man"

Choji frowned into his chip packet, like it held all the answers.  _When would he become a man? Is there a never ending packet of chips out there? What is the meaning of life?_

Shikamaru on the other hand, straightened his spine so quickly that Inoichi wished Shikaku was there to see it. They had never seen the boy voluntary move quicker that a snail.

He had a look of dawning realization on his face. 

It was liberally coved in horror.

"Uh, Uncle, we really don't need this conversation" he said gripping his armrest so hard it started to tear.

"Sit down and listen to me boys" Inoichi raised his voice slightly, both boys immediately looked at him, he rarely raised his voice. They knew it had to be important if he did.

"When you become men, there might be a woman in your life" Inochi paused realization striking suddenly, "or a man or someone" Inochi winced at the awkward phrasing of his sentence.

"Trust me, there isn't anyone" Shikamaru grimaced.

"Thats fine to!" Inoichi quickly added.

Shikamaru blushed, "oh, god" he looked slightly sick.

Choji just looked even more confused.

"Now no matter who you choose you will be excepted in this house. Except if you tell us your a Republican. If you come in my house and say that I'll tie you to a chair"

The boys blinked.

"This is dad's house?" Shikamaru said after a pause.

"That point is invalid"

"But my dad bought the house"

"Then I'll make your dad tie you to a chair"

"I"m so confused" Choji mumbled.

"We've gotten off track!" Inoichi sliced his hands through the air. 

He might need to make it  _five_ bottles of sake after this.

"If you bring home a significant other that is pregnant before you are twenty I will be unhappy" 

"What is my significant other is male?"

Inoichi pinched the bridge of his nose mumbling, "knowing you, you'd probaly get him pregnant put of pure spite"

"What?"

"Nothing" Inoichi sighed again, "we're getting of track again"

"I still don't understand what we're even talking about" Choji added.

"He's trying to give us the  _talk"_  Shikamaru shuddered like the word was filthy.

"Oh god" Choji blanched.

"Trust me this is so much worse for me than it is for you" the older male told them.

"It really isn't" 

Inoichi refused to sigh again. Instead he started counting off his fingers "ok, getting back on track, use protection, don't do anything your or your significant other don't fell comfortable doing, no public sex" Inochi shot them a look, "I don't want be paying your bail after the convesation I'll have to have with the officer that found you, use condoms and use lube if your putting stuff up your butt. House hold objects do _not_ count as lube. I think thats everything" Inochi smiled and looked to his pseudo sons.

They looked very red and  _very_ embarrassed.

Inoichi stood, feeling like he just completed a mission. Now time to collect his reward.

He would probaly need atleast two bottles to erase his entire memory of this converation.

As soon as he stept oit of the door Shikaku nearly jumped on him "how did it go?"

"You should have been there Shikaku" Inoichi patted his shoulder, lookong onto the middle distance, "I've never seen him move so fast"

"What?" Shikaku frowned.

"You'll probaly never have grandkids, I think I mentally scarred the poor kid"

"What!?" 

"He'll get over it" Inochi thought over the conversation again, "eventuality"

The two dads walked into the kitchen finding Chõza with four bottles of sake at the kitchen table.

"Now to forget this ever happened" Inochi reached for a glass, "next time your doing it" he told them.

That was the moment devine inspiration hit him like a train.

Inochi laughed.

He turned and told Shikaku he'd be handling Ino when she needed her 'ladies' talk.

Shikaku tuned white and grabbed for the bottle.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I think I want to make a series about them raising their kids together... heelp meeee


End file.
